I am a 30 year old single mom. I am beyond struggling and making ends meet. The stress from my financial problems has exughsted me, stressed me out to the point of causing medical problems. I was working one job full time and received some assistance from the state. I was living with two kids in a tiny run down apartment that should never be rented to anyone. I live in a small town in a rural area and it was all available to me because I worked a full time job. On average my pay was $9 an hr. Some weekscommissions were better than others. The state cut all of my assistance and I had to get another job to pay the bills created by going to my full time job. 8 couldn't pay my bills, put food on the tabel, pay child care, my medical bills...ect. On top of all of that I would see my beautiful children that didn't know me and I knew very little about them about one and a half hours in the morning and one hour at night. I was a walking zombie at this point. I was so tired that my first job (dealing with large corporate cellular accounts and internet services) I would have clients talking to me, I could see them talking to me, I ould hear them, I was unable to comprehend a word they were saying. I was making just enough money to makemyself extremly poor and kill myself at an early age. I guess I was feeling really sorry for myself because I would break down and cry when ever I went to the bathroom or was out of the public eye. I had a huge break down and flipped out. I quit my job. I actually have no job at this point. I would like a part time job but there is no child care available around here for the hours I need. I am going back to school in May to finish my A.A. and continue on to my B.S in buisness management and need a night time job. Since quitting my job I have moved in to government houseing which is up to code and has room for my kids and myself. I actually have gotten to know my kids again and well we are able to eat. The other problems of how to pay my electric, water, gas, and phone is another story. Yes I need help and have had a lot of people critisize me harshly for quitting my jobs and well I probably deserve to get everything shut off but I had to do some thing and quitting was the only thing that came to mind in the middle of my exuaghstion and break down. I have since lost my car and there is no real public transportation. I sometimes receive a little childsupport from one dad which gets diapers and stuff but no extras. We are living with no television service so we watch old movies and I am riding out my last few days on my phone service before they shut me off and connecting to the internet this way. I have got to say that even with these financial concerns, in the midst of loseing it all, I am less stressed and much happier than when I was exaughsted, ready to drop, all to provide for what was then two little strangers that are now once again my kids. If anyone can help me, would like to help me that would be the most welcome and unexpected surprise I could get right now. I can be emailed at
bellarjewels1@hotmail.com
I have been critisized endlessly by my family and even by some people who I thought were friends so be better than me(like any critque thinks they are) and keep it to yourself....please
